so i have been able to talk to jayson each night since he left, but its not the same.  he is so far away! life sucks ass...you dont realize how much you miss someone until they are gone.  jayson isnt gone gone, hes just too far away to hug and kiss and just not miss him.  anyway, i get to see him in 65 days.  i am going to wisconsin before he ships off for iraq.  i think jayson being in wisoncisn is bad, i really am not looking forward and dont want to see august come.  on the bright side of things, jayson will be home in cincinnati in 395 days!  thats just a little over a year....right?  damn i miss him so much... anyway, keep jayson and all the soldiers in your prayers tonight and everynight.  i love you so much jayson...you are my hero!

life is so unfair....i have one month left with jayson before he leaves.  he has been at his unit a lot lately...i went there yesterday to meet him for dinner and everything is so depressing.  all the army equipment and everything is getting all packed up.  hes leaving me.  i dont want him to go.  im trying so hard to not think about it.  i know he will come home safely....but his job is so dangerous. i dont want jayson to be the one on the news everyone talks about for an evening....i just want him to come home safely...or never leave.  if you ever wish your life away, dont.  enjoy the time you have with the ones you love.  since i have known jayson is leaving, time has been non existence.  damn, its almost may.  please pray...each and every day, for jayson and everyone over in iraq.  pray for them and their families. 

on a brighter note, jayson got me a ring last friday.  its beautiful.  its only a promise ring, but its huge!  its so pretty. 

anyway, i have a famiy readiness meeting to go to.  its a support for the families of soliders mobilizing.  hopefully this meeting will help.  i met one of the wives yesterday when we went to dinner, she seemed really nice and has been through all this before.  things will be ok...they have to be.